Steam Punk is the Devil’s Work
This title of course must symbolize a story about history, the devil, and plumbing supplies that will surly grip the hearts of millions. Anyone with a lick of sense, who can turn a pipe wrench and visit the local hardware store listen up. History buffs who feel sickened at the sight of fake collections of want-a-be items from the past, look away now.
While a friend and I were perusing the down stairs of a local establishment, a speakeasy of sorts, during a “Winter Blues Fest”. This by no means has anything to do with the story, more an irritating fact this friend and I had to deal with during our visit. A bar that normally has no cover charge was, charging a cover, for what I consider ear blistering music and overpriced beverages– that too loud, ear piercing symphonically poor blues slow jams, just reminded me BB wasn’t in town tonight folks. I’m digressing, let’s continue to the real story here. So just before my ears started to bleed, this friend of mine noticed a strange arrangement of street elbows, nipples, close, lights, and even a water meter in the corner by the bar. There was an ominous hue from the old fashion bulbs, which really added a wonderful historic aspect to the whole room. One couldn’t tell if this object was from 1899 or the early 1900s; you knew it was new, but was it new, I’m not sure if anyone knew? As we admired the fantastic piece, the friend reached in for a business card of the creative proprietor, but was interrupted by a drip from above. A small drip to the top of the hand. Were these cards booby trapped? As we pondered, another drip. This time we caught the faint smell of piss. Wait a minute, I thought. Was this interactive art, or were people pissing in the floor of the bathroom just above this fantastic rendition of the “ADD pipe fitter”?
Yes, instead of sealing the floor of the men’s restroom, this steam punk art sat below a piss covered leaky floor. How ironic was it that plumbing supplies, were arranged into a lamp, being dripped on from the bathroom above. Plumbing supplies that could have been used to ensure piss didn’t drip onto the dance floor below. There was no doubt that even the devil hates steam punk, so don’t be surprised if you buy this from e-bay and something terrible happens, like your pipes burst and you have to dismantle this art to actually use for your next project. I know we would, as long as it Schedule 80. Save your money…buy something that is actually old.
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The more you know…
All of this was very offensive. I happen to be a steampunk. You need to get a grip and calm down. Have you ever actually looked at all things steampunk? It is very nice. I bet that if you looked a little harder into it, you might like it. I am actually a steampunk rail fan, and think that steampunk and steam railroading go together very well. The Strasburg railroad does a steampunk day, and it is very popular.
Bull Shite. So Called ‘steampunks’ are IGNORANT of real machinery. Go putcher fake Willson welding goggles back on and genuflect before your Pee Ess 2 or Ex Boxes. Wanna be a Steam Punk? Learn to weld plate steel. Learn how to cut it with a torch. Learn metals. Make a Machine Part from a fragment of Steel Stock. Know what a boiler flue is, and how to change them. Know how, and why and what temperature bituminous coal burns. Study machinery manuals, late at nite, before work the next day. Learn how to rig and use a crane. Learn how and why a railroader can f-ing cuss a zombie from a grave and kill it easily using only curses. Jeez. I am ‘a Diesel-Punk’. I have rescued nearly dead diesel-electric locos from scrappers, and breathed another 2 decades of life back into them. I have no college degrees, just some plain American common sense. If I can do this SO CAN YOU! C’mon, Yall, I Challenge You!
Chugga Chugga Choo Choo!